Growing up and going to school in Macedonia almost 20 years ago, my experience with education was quite different from what I see in Canadian classrooms today. Looking back, I often wonder how much of what we were taught we actually understood and how much we simply memorized to get a good grade or avoid getting into trouble.
Most of our classes back then were teacher-led, with the teacher usually standing at the front explaining the lesson while we, the students, listened, took notes, and were expected to remember the information. There was very little room for discussion, questioning, or exploring different ways of learning, and one thing I remember particularly well was the oral questioning, which often felt more like an interrogation than an opportunity to demonstrate what we had learned. We were expected to stand up and answer questions in front of everyone, and not knowing the answer felt quite intimidating, as we often did not have the right answer because we simply did not understand the lesson or what we were supposed to learn from it. Instead of feeling supported when we struggled, we often felt embarrassed or afraid of making mistakes.
Thinking about our recent class discussion on motivation, I can now see how much of my learning was driven by the fear of failure rather than by genuine interest. We genuinely did not understand what was taught; therefore, we lacked motivation and willingness to participate. Getting a good grade or avoiding a bad one became more important than the learning itself. When we discussed the difference between mastery and performance motivation, it made me think about how different my experience might have been if teachers had encouraged us to ask questions, make mistakes, and learn from them.
Another thing that stood out to me from our class was the importance of cooperation. I don't remember having many opportunities to work with classmates, share ideas, or learn from one another. Most of the learning was individual, and success was measured by how well we could remember and repeat information, how well we did on tests, and the score we got. Now, working as an ECE in a kindergarten classroom, I see how much children can learn through conversations, play, exploration, and working together. Sometimes a child can explain something to another child in a way that makes more sense to them than when an adult explains it, as we often forget how children think, and what makes sense in our brains does not necessarily make sense in theirs.
I also think about the importance of teachers being supportive and approachable. A teacher should be someone students feel comfortable approaching when they don't understand something, rather than someone they fear disappointing. I find that many students are more willing to participate in classroom activities, ask questions, and challenge themselves when they know that making mistakes is an accepted and welcome part of learning.
As I continue my journey toward becoming a teacher, I find myself reflecting more on my past experiences. Although I cannot change how I was taught, I can use those experiences to shape the kind of teacher I want to become. I want my students to feel that their ideas matter, that they can ask questions without being judged, and that learning is about much more than getting the right answer.
And perhaps the biggest question I am left with is this: How many students are capable of so much more than they show us, simply because they are afraid of making a mistake? Looking back at my own experience, I know for sure I was one of them!
Hristina Markozanova
