Coregulation - Building the Stairs

Have you ever worked in a classroom where a student becomes overwhelmed or frustrated in the middle of a lesson? Maybe a student is crying because they cannot complete an activity or something doesn't go their way. As educators, our first instinct is to stop the behaviour or ask the students to calm down. But what if, instead of focusing on stopping the behaviour, we focused on helping the child understand and manage the emotions behind it? 

Children’s brains need to practice calming down. It is a learned skill and not something they are born with. Practicing calming down starts with the support of caregivers through co-regulation, which occurs in the context of safe, nurturing relationships with parents, caregivers, and at times even educators. I want you to view co-regulation like upstairs and downstairs. The prefrontal cortex is considered the upstairs, as it is more complex and more evolved. It is responsible for producing characteristics like sound decision-making and planning, having control over the body and emotions, self-understanding, empathy, and morality. It is the decision-making and thinking brain (Siegel, D., Bryson, T. P., 2012). The limbic system is considered your downstairs as it is responsible for basic functions like breathing, blinking, your flight or fight response, and strong emotions like anger and fear. All basic needs are part of the limbic system  (Siegel, D., Bryson, T. P., 2012). A simple way to think of the prefrontal cortex and the limbic system is through Daniel Siegel’s upstairs and downstairs brain analogy. Think of the prefrontal cortex as the upstairs part of your brain and the limbic system as the downstairs part of the brain. To self-regulate, you need to have both upstairs and downstairs parts of the brain work together. When a child is always dysregulated, they are only able to access the downstairs part of their brain, the limbic system, and have no stairs leading up to their upstairs brain. For a child to build the stairs connecting their upstairs brain and downstairs brain is through co-regulation with a caregiver or trusted adult (Siegel, D., Bryson, T. P, 2012). 

Some ways to support co-regulation are through teaching children about different emotions, practising breathing exercises like blowing bubbles, creating a cozy space where students can go when feeling overwhelmed, and providing sensory activities. After a child can co-regulate with, they are then able to take the skills they learned from co-regulation and be able to self-regulate on their own. Self-regulation is a good skill to have, as it helps children learn better in school, behave in socially acceptable ways, make new friends and be independent.

References

Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. Brunswick, Vic.: Scribe Publications. 

StephanieS@OTU